When reading through magazine headlines, these are some of the common headlines you will come across: Heat up sex! Sex you crave! Be a sex genius! Great sex tips from his mum? Tis the season for hookups, proposals and… skype sex?!
While it is true that these headlines are concerning, they are not surprising. These headlines come from magazines whose founders held damaging views of femininity.
Among the most famous was Helen Gurley Brown, the first editor of Cosmopolitan, who saw its rise during the sexual revolution. She has been quoted saying such things as: “If you’re not a sex object, you’re in trouble” and “One of the paramount reasons for staying attractive is so you can have somebody to go to bed with.” (See more of her quotes here)
When we take a critical look at the false messages created by headlines like the ones above, we can come to the following conclusions:
1) They tell women that sex is a pleasurable way to pass the time.
2) That sex is all about the big ‘O’.
3) That the more sexually experienced a woman is, the more attractive she is to a man.
These messages completely miss the mark when trying to explain the meaning of sex. They fail miserably, because they don’t acknowledge its beauty and sacredness.
Let’s take a deeper look and see exactly where these messages fall short.
Sex is a pleasurable way to pass the time.
Why is this wrong? It’s wrong, because it’s so much more than a nice way to keep boredom at bay. It’s actually a foretaste of Heaven! Yes, you heard me right, Heaven! That’s why the image of St. Teresa of Avila in ecstasy seems almost sexual. (See image below)
The joy experienced in being in the full presence of God, is comparable to the joy of the marital embrace. That’s how much God loves us. He gives us a glimpse of eternal bliss through the earthly marital embrace.
Sex is all about the big ‘O’.
In our culture sex is all about having the strongest orgasm possible. Because orgasm is the goal of sex, any sexual act is permissible just as long as it produces a desirable orgasm. Why is this wrong? It’s wrong because when the big ‘O’ is the goal of sex, human beings become casualties in the quest for that perfect orgasm. Couples are more likely to perform degrading acts and men and women are more tempted to say “how can I be pleasured during this encounter?” rather than “how can I and my spouse grow holier through sex?” When two bodies come together in sex, it is the outward expression of two becoming one with the power to create new life. To reduce it to orgasm is to cheapen sex.
The more sexually experienced a woman is the more attractive she is to a man.
Why is this wrong? This message creates the false narrative that men want a woman with a sexual history. What makes a woman attractive to a man is not her sexual experience, but her holiness and faithfulness. While this doesn’t mean that women with complex sexual histories are incapable of being holy and faithful – it simply means that the world’s agenda of promiscuity leads to emotional hurt and wounded sexualities.
In closing, if women want to get serious about respect for women, they have to realize the hypocrisy of the sexual revolution narrative. Trivializing sex does not lead to happiness. It creates unnecessary emotional and physical damage while blurring God’s mission for women.
If you were nodding your head in agreement throughout this article, I thank you, and I ask that you consider sharing this with a friend who maybe doesn’t see this in the same way. And if you were outraged by this article, I ask that you at least consider the points that I’m making. I say these things not to bring women back to the Stone Age, but to help guide them towards their first home which is Heaven.
God Bless you. St. Teresa of Avila, pray for us.